Liar Liar
by TheFairiesHeart
Summary: "Attention all, the gorgeous girl genius Miu Iruma has made an invention that will solve all of our Ouma problems!" - Iruma makes a lie detector and uses it on Ouma


Miu stomped into the dining hall with a victorious grin on her face, yet another invention under her arm as she slammed the door shut.

"Attention all, the gorgeous girl genius Miu Iruma has made an invention that will solve all of our Ouma problems!"

"Will it kill him?" Maki asked, lifting her head up to look at the invention.

"Nah, I could make that another function in it though. Certainly could fill a potential requirement on it."

"Then that isn't really solving our problems."

"What did you create Iruma?" Kaede asked, dodging Maki's remark.

"Thanks for asking Bakamatsu. It's a lie detector."

"How's that going to solve our Ouma issues?" Kaito asked.

"Well if we strap that Shota Cuck in, he won't be able to lie otherwise we'll know he's lying, duh doy."

"But this is Ouma we're speaking about, he'll probably find a way around it." Shuuichi tried to reason only to get interrupted.

"Like fuck he'll get around it, it's a _lie detector_ Shyhara. I thought you'd understand that cause I _thought_ you were smart."

"Is there anything else we should be aware of with your machine?" Kirumi asked, face slightly concerned, "I would rather not be a part of something that could cause harm to one of my fellow classmates."

"W-well I mean… there are some functions on there like… uh… some shocks and uh… some vibrations…" Miu confessed, flushing.

"... Tenko wishes that Toujou didn't ask about that."

"I find myself agreeing."

"Why have you even got functions like that on a lie detector?!"

"Eeee!" Miu squeaked. "I-I dunno I maybe just wanted it there a-and-"

"Wow what sorta party is going on in here? A surprise party for me? I'm _soooo_ touched!"

The person they were technically discussing had just arrived in the cafeteria. Kaede sprung into action.

"Chabashira! Momota! Gokuhara! Grab him!" Kaede shouted, the three moving to try catch the supreme leader before he could escape.

"We got him!" Gonta said, arms wrapped around Kokichi's stomach, holding him up above the ground.

"Great, bring him over here big dick!" Miu responded, getting the machine ready. "Shove him on the seat and hold his right hand out-"

"Which hand right?"

"The hand you jac-"

"The hand you hold your chopsticks in." Himiko stated simply, interrupting Miu who gave Himiko a frustrated huff and a glare.

"Oh ok." Gonta responded, shoving out Kokichi's left hand towards Miu and her machine.

"That's the wrong hand Gokuhara." Kaede gently stated, tapping Gonta on the shoulder.

"Ohhh, sorry. Gonta idiot."

"That's alright Big Dick, just pass it here." Miu said, taking Kokichi's right hand and strapping him onto the device, making sure it was booted up correctly before stepping back a little.

"So wow whatcha doing? I would care to know what _awful_ torture you're gonna put me through."

"We aren't torturing you Ouma," Shuuichi said, "we're putting you on a lie detector."

"Wow you're right, that isn't torture! That's way worse!"

"Right… anyways we should get started."

"Atua wishes to finally hear the truth spill from Kokichi."

"So Shota Cuck, your talent really SHSL Supreme Leader?"

"Of course it isn't, why would it- Ow!"

"Lie."

"What the hell it shocked me!"

"It _electrocutes_ you if you lie?" Ryouma inquired.

"W-well yeah… and it kinda vibrates if you-"

"Iruma can you please remove or turn off that function for this?" Shuuichi requested. "It's only going to hinder the interrogation so _please_."

"Oh with you begging me like that I think I will! But just this once, got it Shyhara?!"

Miu quickly flicked a switch, turning the shocks off.

"Alright, let's keep going. So Ouma's talent is the truth?" Shuuichi said, returning to the hastily put together 'plan'.

"Yup it is!" Kokichi confirmed.

"Truth."

"Alright… are there really ten thousand members in your organisation?" Kiibo asked.

"Well there are at least two people in it."

"Truth."

"That did not answer my question!" Kiibo complained, earning a snigger from Kokichi.

"How many people are there in your organisation then?" Kaede jumped in, altering the question slightly.

"Plenty."

"Truth."

"What is he doing?!" Kaito asked, looking a mix between shocked and angry.

"What? I'm just telling the truth."

"Truth."

"I did tell you guys that he'd find a way around it." Shuuichi reminded.

"Aw did he now? Wow my beloved Saihara knows me so well now!"

"So what is the name of your organisation?" Rantarou asked, sliding in closer to the group.

"Woah, my beloved Amami's asking a question now? He must really be intrigued!"

"Well I am," Rantarou admitted, "I'm curious so what's the name of the organisation?"

"Hmm… I won't give it straight out cause that's boring but… it's two things you can hold in your hands and roll them about. Some people like to blow on them for good luck!"

"Truth."

"Can't believe the cuck's organisation is called Balls!"

"Are you sure about that?" Kokichi asked, questioning look.

Shuuichi got to thinking. _Hmm… if we ignore the obvious way he was trying to get us, or at least Iruma, to think… what else could it be?_

The class seemed to be discussing possible names for the organisation and Kokichi just sat there with a grin on his face. He knew none of the others would get it. _Man this was gonna be fun watching them never get it ri-_

"Ouma, would your organisation happen to be called Dice?" A voice called through the crowd, silencing them all. Kokichi turned his attention to Shuuichi.

"Ding Ding Ding! The detective gets it right; though it would be more accurate to call it D.I.C.E."

"Truth."

"Way to go Saihara! That's my sidekick!" Kaito called out, wrapping his arm around Shuuichi's shoulders.

"Yup, my beloved Saihara is sooooo smart!"

"Aight, any of you idiots got any other questions for him?" Iruma called, silencing them, glancing around at her fellow ultimates.

"I do!" Kaito shouted, releasing Shuuichi's shoulders and stomping up closer to Kokichi.

"Well spill it."

"Right, I've always wanted to know the answer to this question and considering he can't lie or anything I can finally get the answer."

"Spit it out Space Dick!"

"Right, so if there were two guys on the moon and one of them murder-"

"Are you kidding me Kaito?" Maki asked, facepalming.

"It's a serious question Harumaki! If two guys were on the moon and one of them murdered the other would that be fucked up or what?!"

"Can I really answer that? Is there anything involved in the murder? Like a hydraulic press or a seesaw or something?"

"Can I ask how this is relevant?" Kirumi asked tiredly.

"Tenko thinks that the _degenerate_ male has finally went insane."

"Hmmmm yeah, I think a Press could be involved."

"Then that's definitely fucked up."

"Truth."

"Atua wants Angie to ask which of the two people got crushed."

"Who knows?"

"Truth."

"Holy fuck does anyone have a serious question to ask?"

"Why would there be a hydraulic press on the moon?" Rantarou asked Kaito, turning to the Astronaut.

"Why _wouldn't_ there be a hydraulic press on the moon?"

"How about why Harukawa called Momota by his first name?" Tsumugi suggested.

"That's irrelevant. We are asking Ouma questions to try get the truth." Maki responded, dodging Tsumugi's question.

"I believe she may be trying to hide something." Korekiyo said, speaking for the first time that day.

"Do you want to die Shinguuji?"

"Well do you have a question for me Harumaki?" Kokichi asked, smirk on his face.

"First of all, don't call me that again or I _will_ kill you-"

"Aw ok then."

"Secondly… Why do you call Saihara your beloved?" Maki asked.

"Huh?"

"I noticed you call most of us by our usual name unless trying to annoy us, yet for Saihara, and sometimes Amami, you call him 'your beloved'. Why?"

"Does the Shota have a real hard on for Shyhara? Do you love him?"

"What?! No way, I don't love Saihara."

"Lie."

"Well it seems to me that you do." Miu responded.

"Well your machine is busted, I definitely am not in love with Shuuichi Saihara!" He shouted, evidently angry, almost red in the face.

"Lie."

The door of the cafeteria shut.

"My machine ain't busted! It's perfect unlike your grimy d-!"

"I believe this may be getting out of hand," Kirumi stated, stepping between Miu and Kokichi, hands out to stop them from trying to start anything. "We are trying to do this peacefully, I believe you two arguing will not get results."

"Geez, fine _Mom_." Miu scoffed, crossing her arms.

"I must remind you that I am not your mother."

"Fine fine mum, let's keep those questions coming."

"Alright, I gotta know Cuckichi. Dicks or tits?"

"What?"

"Dicks or t- wait a sec he's into Shyhara of course it's dicks. Right, top or bottom?"

Kokichi just looked at her, look unreadable on his face.

"Answer me! To-"

"Forgive me Iruma but I believe that those aren't the sort of questions you should be asking."

"Stop interrupting me mom!"

"Iruma, if you aren't going to ask a reasonable question I would suggest it's best to leave."

"I built the fucking machine! You can't ban me!"

" _Iruma_." Kirumi sighed, giving Miu a look, causing Miu to whimper slightly.

"F-Fine, geez. Come on Kiibs, you need maintenance!"

"Iruma, what are you talking about? I do not require maintenance at this time-"

" _Come on Kiibo._ "

Miu dragged the robot from the cafeteria despite Kiibo's words of not needing fixed, stopping briefly to whisper to him before the pair rushed out of there.

Silence filled the cafeteria after the display.

"Gonta has question for Ouma." Gonta stated, breaking the silence, hand raised slightly.

"What is it Gokuhara?" Rantarou responded, prompting him to ask his question.

"Gonta wondering… does Ouma like bugs? He says he do but I think he lying."

"Uhhhh…"

"Yes Ouma, do you like bugs? Come on, answer Gokuhara Ouma." Tsumugi added, holding back a slight snigger, knowing that Kokichi hated bugs.

"Uhhhhhhhhh…"

"Why Ouma no answer question? You no like bugs?"

" _Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_ …"

"I bet Ouma just loves bugs." Kaito smirked, crossing his arms. "Ain't that right Saihara?"

He didn't get a response.

"Saihara? Dude? Where are you?"

"I believe I saw him leaving a short while ago, during the whole 'does Ouma love Saihara' debacle." Korekiyo responded. "I think he may have not had a good reaction to the topic."

"Well we better go find him! Let's go Harumaki!" Kaito called, rushing out of the cafeteria, dragging Maki along with him.

"Why me?"

"Does anyone have any ideas where he went?" Kaede asked, looking around the group that was still in the room.

"I would believe the two that would most likely know would be Iruma and Kiibo, considering they left closest to Saihara's departure." Kirumi suggested.

"Great, i'll go find Iruma and Kiibo and ask them!" Kaede responded with a smile, leaving the room shortly afterwards.

"Yumeno, will you join Tenko in searching for that degenerate male?" Tenko asked the sleepy magician.

"Nyeh… it's too much of a bother."

"Gonta willing to carry you. Gonta no want Yumeno to waste powerful magic after all." Gonta responded, walking to join the Aikido Master and the Magician.

"Mmmm… fine, let's go Gokuhara, Chabashira before I use my magic to turn you into… uhh… frogs."

"Let's go quickly then, even if we have a _degenerate_ … gentleman with us." Tenko conceded, waiting for Gonta (who was beaming at being called a gentleman) to pick up Himiko, placing the small magician onto his back before the trio departed the cafeteria.

"I plan to remain here," Kirumi stated, "just in case Saihara plans to return here and to keep an eye on Ouma. Would any of the others that wish to remain here like a beverage?"

"Angie would say she wants a drink but Atua wishes to inform Kirumi that Kokichi isn't with us anymore."

"Hm?" Kirumi hummed before looking to where Kokichi was previously sat, an empty seat remaining.

"It appears as if we may need two search parties." Ryouma said.

* * *

Kokichi walked into the library to see Shuuichi sat in the corner, book open but clearly not reading it.

"Wow, fancy seeing a detective in a library. Not planning some murder scheme?"

Shuuichi glanced up from the book before returning to staring at the pages. Kokichi almost bouncing to get up closer to the detective, glancing at the book cover.

"Woah a dirty book?! I didn't think that my beloved Saihara would be into that."

"H-huh?! I didn't- I just picked a random bo-"

"Lie."

"Geez Saihara, lighten up a bit, that was a joke! The book isn't a dirty book!"

"Truth."

"Why are you still wearing the lie detector?" Shuuichi asked, placing the book down.

"Well considering that it's Iruma's invention, I wouldn't want to try take it off 'cause it'll probably do something to my hand… or kill me."

"Why don't you go to get her to take it off?"

"I am ninety eight percent sure she is fucking the robot right now, based on the way she dragged him outta there… so I am not going in her lab just incase. I may want to know if Kiiboy has a dick but i'm not finding out that way."

"Truth."

"How can it confirm the truth if you aren't even sure of the truth in the first place?"

"Blame her faulty machine." Kokichi shrugged, sliding into the seat opposite Shuuichi.

"So… was it faulty earlier?"

"Hm?"

"You know when uh… the whole you love me thing."

"Oh _thaaaat_ , when you ran out of the cafeteria!"

"I didn't run out of the cafeteria."

"Details, details." Kokichi waved off.

"Was it faulty though?"

"Hmmm… do you want it to be?"

"What?"

"Do you want what I said to be real?"

"I… uh…"

"Y-you don't w-want it to be r-real? WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Kokichi balled, tears streaming down his face.

"W-wait! I don't know!"

"You don't know?" He asked, tears stopping abruptly.

"Y-yes. I don't know if I want it to be real or not."

"My beloved Saihara…you never fail to surprise me."

"Truth."

"Saihara… I… don't hate you."

"Truth."

"I don't hate you either Ouma."

"Wow, this is _suuuuuuper_ romantic!"

"Lie."

"Sorry…"

"That's fine, just 'cause it wasn't romantic doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything."

"That is strangely… profound isn't the word but…"

"Psh, who cares about words?"

"I can think of several people in several professions that-"

"Who cares." Kokichi interrupted before clearing his throat. "Well, I have one final thing to say to test this lie detector once and for all!"

"What is it?" Shuuichi asked, eyebrow raised.

"Saihara is my boyfriend."

* * *

 **Hello! My first fic of 2018!**

 **One of the commenters on my previous oumasai fic (toka658) suggested this idea and I thought it was a pretty cool one so I wrote it!**

 **Feel free to message me on here or on my tumblr hitinmiss! You can request a fic or just talk about Danganronpa with me!**

 **seeya next fic!**


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